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Alcohol won’t solve your problems, but neither does milk or orange juice.
It`s Monday. I`m refreshed and ready to hate my Job
The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense.
Why is it called stealing when your WIFI is trespassing in my house?
The only difference between sex and breakfast is sometimes I don`t want breakfast.
Girl rule. A girl will only compliment another girl that is uglier than they are.
when god was giving out brains....you must have miss heard for trains..and missed your bugger
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
That moment when you have so many things to do...So you decide to take a nap instead!
Soon ovens will come with webcams and wireless connections so that posting photos of your dinner will be even easier.
Black Friday at my house consist of pants 100% off
All I`m saying is there`s a reason all the best love songs have the word crazy in them.
Since everything is closed for Thanksgiving I’m going to drive around and park in all the good spots I never get.
Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.