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Guys... If the girl your getting down with doesn`t even have time to fake an orgasm..... It`s prob best you just make your sandwich
I always shout "PIZZA`S HERE" so the delivery guy doesn`t think I`m eating two pizzas by myself.
When pornstars get up to speak in front of a large group, do they picture people with their clothes on?
Things I`ve learned: There`s no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
I wonder if any Disney managers ever start a meeting off with "What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are we running around here?"
Well I was gonna donate blood today until the lady got all personal and started asking "who´s blood is this?" and "How did you get it?"
If you`re going to be stupid, don`t do it on Facebook.
I did not say you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain
my entire life is a "had to be there" moment
May you have a prosperous New Year. I may need to borrow money.
Why isn`t Wendy`s girl fat? You would think that someone who eats so many Baconators, chicken sandwiches and other burgers, would be quite the porker by now.
Spiderman is just another guy who ends up with sticky hands and covered in white stuff after being on the web.
You actually are not the stupidest person on the planet. But if he were to die...
Chillin: the art of doing nothing without being bored.