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i honestly hate saying sorry but when i do i really mean it :-)
Just because it`s a bad idea, doesn`t mean it`s not going to be a good time.
If you rub two sticks together fast enough, you`ll eventually start a widespread panic on the subway.
I don`t understand why people go to the gym all the time... everything there`s so heavy.
If someone hates you for no apparent reason, give them one.
Earlier this morning, I was invited to join a XXX facebook group. I was somewhat intrigued until I realized it was a group for guys who like to wear really big shirts.
My safe word is "Make sure we don`t go over the hour. That`s all the cash I got on me."
I hope these environmentally friendly toilets save at least 3x the water because that’s how many times I need to flush.
I`m an accident looking for a place to happen!
If you can`t handle your alcohol I would gladly help you out
My life is spent trying to get people to give me the silent treatment.
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y`all.
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills,with a rubber band around it...I found the rubber band....
Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride
There are 10 types of people in the world, Those that understand binary, and those who don`t.