Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To all the waiters out there: we don`t get impressed when you try to memorize our orders, we just get nervous.
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
Wow!!! Thank you guy on Facebook I went to high school with and haven`t spoken to in 14 years, you really changed my mind about this upcoming election....
I never sign anything until I pretend to read it first..
Do you ever just sit there and think “why am I not rich”?
Defeat....the feeling you get when you realize the "next" level is just as hard......
Did 4 push ups & 2 sit ups then ate 4 doughnuts & drank 2 beers. It`s called balance people!
How come phones only get lost when they are on silent?
Instead of “single” as a relationship option, it should read “independently owned and operated”
I`m pretty sure God just pointed at me and laughed.
I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar and accidentally wrote a One Direction song.
Good rule of thumb: if you see an adult riding a children’s bicycle, you’re probably in a bad neighborhood.
Having a dirty mind makes simple conversation much more exciting!
Girls these days be like `I wanna get the Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet`N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice tan look`
I like when job applications have a “Some College” option so they know I’m an aimless loser.