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“Nevermind.” Translation: You should’ve listened the first time.
The problem with trouble is that it always starts out as fun.
Bigger isn`t always better. Thighs, for example.
I don`t "get lost". I find creative ways to get places I didnt know I wanted to go.
I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time
I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it.
Don´t call me crazy. I much prefer the term "mentally hilarious"
May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the “ABCs” in my head to remember which letter comes next.
…and for my next trick, I will pull this dryer sheet out of my sleeve!
I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.
I was worried my notifications had stopped working but luckily I’m just unpopular.
I`m awesome ... Don`t question it, just deal with it.
I eat my gummy bears 2 at a time ..no one should die alone