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Do trolls even live under bridges anymore? Or have they all relocated to the Internet?
SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who’s ever used a cell phone will die
I am not available because I am looking at porn that takes up the whole computer screen
Yes, your opinion matters ... But not to me.
I have been left unsupervised yet again. This usually leads to trouble & other bad things, please have bail money ready and keep your phone on.
I feel like being that guy that gets upset when people use the term "straight A`s". "Fabulously flawless A`s" sounds much better.
If my job was to make health questionnaires, I`d slip in random stuff like "How fast can you run backwards?"
Is it safe to take off my Winter Solstice Glasses yet?
Roses are red. Monsters are green. Just look in the mirror. You`ll know what I mean.
Heard Justin Bieber got arrested for drag racing. Sure it`s dangerous, but surely it isn`t against the law to run in high heels...
exercise........you mean extra fries
I DON`T HATE YOU,I`M JUST NOT NECESSARILY EXCITED ABOUT YOUR EXISTENCE!
It’s amazing how long you can hold your farts at the beginning of a relationship.
Lately I`ve been convinced that some people were born solely for purpose of eventually pissing me off...
It´s never to late to be happy