Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don`t even know if I`m kidding or not.
How to tell if a woman is mad at you: 1.She`s quiet 2.She`s yelling 3.She acts the same 4.She acts different 5.She murdered you
If Google can`t find the answer, it`s not a question.
Whats the best part about dating a homeless chick, ..... You can drop her off anywhere
Ironically the only way I`d watch the 50 Shades of Grey movie is if you tied me to a chair and forced me to.
Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think “look at all these poor people who don’t know Netflix exists.”
Statistically, I`ve come to the conclusion that I`m going to hell in multiple religions.
A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.
It`s amazing how different the phrases "alcohol free" and "free alcohol" are.
I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That`s it. No more reading!
Sarcasm is a dominant gene in my family.
Love your enemies; after all, you made them!
The good thing about listening to a new song is that it doesn’t remind you of anyone.
You know you`re a mom when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.
My girlfriend says I need to grow up. I think she`s just angry I didn`t give her the password to my pillow fort.