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I am so thankful for all the people that aren`t in my life.
I`m all for the "going green" thing, but I just can`t bring myself to buy toilet paper that says, "100% Recycled."
I am not bossy, I just know how to do things the right way.
I dont want to sound like a badass or anything but I play Wii without the wrist strap on....
I wonder what it feels like to be wrong.
I`m an optimist. To me, the glass is always half alcohol.
It’s like I wanna be left alone but I still want people to notice my absence, you know.
I got a free wallet and watch today. It`s like this gun is magic.
This goes out to the person who thought of the idea to put stickers on each and every piece of fruit. "Nobody like`s your idea"
I`m losing my mind, but as long as I keep the part that tells me when I gotta pee, I should be OK
I was all ears until you said something that sounded like advice.
I need a partner in wine.
Saw a boat with a sign that read "For Sale" so I added the missing "-ing"......Idiots can`t spell...
I don`t know why I even bother chewing corn.
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I’m part of the other 2%