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Don’t underestimate my ability to do absolutely nothing.
I used to be a class act......or clown,as my 7th grade teacher would tell my parents!!
"How much for the man cave?" "Sir that`s a doghouse." "Can you install cable?"
Take mentos and freeze into ice cubes. Put the ice cubes in your friend’s drink. After five minutes their drink will randomly explode.
I can already tell this is going to be one of those days where I am not rich and famous.
Royal baby was born at 8 pounds. Thats like 12 dollars.
Don`t know what to get your husband for Christmas? Whatever you give him, give it to him naked. Problem solved
I’m thinking of leaving my body to science. Even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
No thermostat is as effective at regulating temperature as sticking a foot out from under the bed covers.
When I`m all out of alcohol...haha! Just kidding! I`d never let that scenario become a reality.
Before bed, my Dad would always say, "OK son, time to hit the sack." Not sure how me punching him in the balls helped him sleep, but hey, that’s my Dad for ya.
Within 2 minutes, I can gather enough things to allow me to sit and watch tv without getting up for at least 4 hours... Don`t question my laziness
Just finished building Rome with Legos. Took me a day.
There should be a mercy rule for how many pics a girl can upload from her vacation.
Wondering if my heart is healthy enough for sex ... volunteers needed.