Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
my ex girlfriends started they`re own website they call it two faced book...
Sorry I cut you off mid-sentence so I could sprint after an ice cream truck.
My retirement plan is just $1,000 & a plane ticket to wherever these kids are living on 15 cents a day.
I enjoy long walks away from responsibility.
Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet. If you don`t like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
It`s almost 2014, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
Do you think we like to sing in the shower because we all love a good soap opera?
For some reason, I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why!
If steroids are illegal for athletes shouldn`t photoshop be illegal for models?
When I see a girl with too much makeup, I just want to use my finger to write "Wash Me" on her face.
I don`t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.
Even hoarders throw their chapstick away if someone else uses it.
I’m so happy people can’t hear what I’m thinking.
Not to brag, but I still owe Blockbuster $2.00 for not rewinding Weekend at Bernies.
I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it.