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"It seemed like a good idea at the time"............................... An often used phrase in a lot of my memories.
Turns out Xenophobia is not `A fear of Warrior Princesses`
My life is a movie. One of those movies where most of the people start leaving right in the middle of it.
I don`t see the point of sex if the neighbours don`t hear it.
My internet went down. By which I mean my neighbors changed their password.
News flash, ladies. Men are settling for you, too.
Today is opposite day. Wait...if today is opposite day and I say that it is opposite day that means today isn`t opposite day. If it isn`t opposite day then how cAn I say today is opposite dAy? I`m so confused -.-
I need to find a job where I am paid solely on how awesome I am.
I got kicked out of the audience of "Cats" on Broadway for bringing a laser pointer.
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I would for sure pick living.
I miss the good old days..when you could slam the phone down.!!
It`s always best to fart when there`s a baby on the bus. They always get the blame.
The odds of winning the lottery are 1 in 10 million. The odds of being the fastest sperm are 1 in 300 million. You`d think that with those odds, you`d win the lottery 30 times in your life.
Today has been approved by both my middle fingers.
When there is nothing to do ... That`s what I do