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I love you with all my thighs. I would say my heart, but my thighs are much bigger.
To all my Facebook friends. Have a happy St. Patrick`s day, and all the festivities this weekend. Stay safe, enjoy life, and if you by chance happen to find a bartender who is bad at math...give me a call :)
Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They`re probably the reason.
Facebook: Making stalking people much more convenient since 2004.
I like to test the waters by pushing people in.
I always give waiters a tip, but they never seem to appreciate my advice.
Million dollar idea: A bathroom mirror that takes pictures.
Respect your parents, they pay for your internet.
Hooters does have hot girls, but the Subway girls are the real wife material.
There`s a time and a place for alcohol ... In my hand and now.
A date with Destiny.. Cause strippers need lovin` too.
A woman saying "I`m not mad at you" is like a dentist saying "You won`t feel a thing."
Make librarians cry by calling it a Book Museum while taking pictures with your iPad.
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.
Alcohol may not be able to give you a loving hug when you need it but the Liquor Mart employee`s you`re buying it off of sure can.