Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I want to spend the rest of my life photo bombing the Google street view camera shots dressed as Waldo.
Nothing is as scary as logging into Facebook and seeing someone you were secretly with last night has uploaded a new album.
I was halfway to the state line before I realized the sirens were part of the song that was playing
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead, but other people do. The same applies when you are stupid.
FYI: Real hippos at the zoo don’t eat marbles. They should post a sign or something.
How about putting that screaming kid on vibrate
pudding... thats always a funny word
It may look like I`m doing nothing, but I`m actively waiting for my problems to go away.
I`m a beer enthusiast. The more beer I drink, the more enthusiastic I become.
I use a blender to make protein shakes in my office every day. That way when I use it to mix up a pitcher of margaritas no one even notices.
My boys cleaned out my car and now my change is missing. Little do they know, it costs exactly $3.63 to turn our wifi back on.
Singing in the shower is illegal according to this Ikea security guard.
Listening to the voices in my head, I’ve concluded that they’re having more fun than me.
If you can`t handle me at my worst, then that sucks because that`s all there is to me.
Emails from your boss assigning you work do not qualify as cyber bullying. I checked.