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Just got a message that said "Hey, I tried to call you"...that`s your problem right there....you should have never tried that.
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend.
Marriage. When dating goes too far.
Golf, except there`s no balls or clubs or anything, and you just drive around in a cart and drink.
I did not trip...the floor looked like it needed a hug.
Was going to watch the presidential inauguration today, but found something more interesting on a different channel. Watched "How cow farts affect the ozone layer" on The Science channel.
Kids are like debit cards. I get yelled at when I accidentally leave them at the store.
The only difference between doggy style and reverse cowgirl is who wants to watch the TV more.
If you can`t celebrate Valentine`s Day with someone you love, forget about it at a bar that you like...
For those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word shopping.
Who picks up a seeing eye dogs poop?
I don`t understand why people want a relationship when there`s pizza.
Trying to get in shape for all those people I`m not having sex with.
My girlfriend said if this gets 100 thumbs up we`ll try anal. So please don`t vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.
Give a man a fish & he`ll be all "WTF are you giving me a fish for? That`s weird" Teach a man to fish & he`ll be all "Again with the fish?"