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I look forward to the day that cell phone technology finally catches up with technology in digital watches and they release a model that is water resistant up to 100 meters.
My fake plant died because I didn`t pretend to water it
Showed my daughter an MRE. The package said "Peelable Seal". She said I`m not eating no seal.
Anybody else have that annoying problem of Work and Family interfering with your FaceBook time?
Life would be so much better if throughout the day we encountered randomly placed Piñatas
Sometimes I wish that I could put my wife on airplane mode.
Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
Its around this time each year that i just enjoy going outside and seeing my christmas lights already set up from the year before.
You know you`re getting old when you fall down and wonder what else you can do while you`re down there.
Don`t think I didn`t notice that you deleted your status when no one Liked it.
“We don`t lick people!” - Lies adults tell kids
Pay no attention to the pizza being delivered to the bush outside your bedroom window.
The Super Bowl is over, everyone. Time to briefly learn the names of some Winter Olympians.
Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller?