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When I was younger, it was wine, women & song. Now I am older, it`s beer, the old lady & TV!
liquor stores should sell Shamwows.. I bet they would conquer any challenge alcohol can conjure up. spills.. puke.. all kinds of messes.
Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
Turbo tax might just be the worst video game I ever played.
Some people wouldn`t understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet.
It’s fun to pull someone’s leg… but don’t ever pull their finger.
Football Logic: Your team won: Celebrate with beers! Your team lost: Better drown my sorrows in some beer.
No pornhub I do not want to share this video with my friends & family on Facebook
Law and Order is just Blue`s Clues for adults.
What’s a drunken pirates worst nightmare? A sunken booty with no chest.
Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
I hope these environmentally friendly toilets save at least 3x the water because that’s how many times I need to flush.
Your name should be Gelette because you`re the best a man can get
I’ve never been a millionaire, but I know I’d be excellent at it.
I`m off and running like a wounded herd of turtles on valium