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What number SPF blocks people?
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach the cookies.
Little to no thought was put into this status.
If one door closes & another door opens, you’re probably in prison.
When sliding down the banister of life, always make sure that the end is knob free!
I hate it when I`m singing a song and the artist keeps messing up the words.
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you’ve had?
This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: “Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken.”
Had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
I`m already an idiot, I just need a village.
Some of you ladies need to ease up on the makeup until we get this clown situation resolved.
If I can’t act weird around you, I’m sorry we can’t be friends.
Getting that beach body is easy. You just have to know where to dig.
I swear, if Facebook changes their layout one more time, I’m going to post a status update about it & then use their site as much as always.
Wonder what my couch is doing right now.