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If the sprayer in the sink can`t get it off and the dishwasher can`t get it off then I assume it`s just meant to be a part of the pan.
Things I`ve learned: There`s no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
I never thought I`d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning ... I was right!
My doctor prescribed me xanax instead of birth control pills I asked for. Now I have 9 kids, but I don`t care.
Sunglasses: I don’t want to make awkward eye contact with certain people.
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
Women seem to want security. At least that`s what they yell whenever I approach them.
My wife and I decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty hard.
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my foot while laying on the sofa so I guess today is leg day.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
Every time I go into my boss` office she tells me "take a seat". I have 14 now.
Overheard at grocery: Paper or plastic, sir? Doesn’t matter. Im bisacksual.
For over 20 years, I thought Bon Jovi gave love a Band-Aid
You bring the friendship, I`ll bring the benefits.
Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11, and birthday candles ... Do your damn job.