Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
I wanna be skinny but I also want to have pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner, you feel me?
Currently helping my girlfriend look for her chocolates that I ate 5 hours ago...
i know how to shutup.I just don`t know when.
When you get angry at someone count out loud to ten. When you get to eight, throw a punch. Nobody expects that sh!t.
Gun Control: Use both hands
If your cup is only half full, you probably need a smaller bra.
Engineers: "okay, so we agree the space between the seat and the console will allow people to see what they dropped but never retrieve it"
I thought she asked if I was interested in an orgy. Turns out she really said "4G." My apologies to the lady at the Verizon kiosk.
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
My New Years resolution is to stop procrastinating so much.
I run a non-profit company. It`s not for a good cause or anything, I`m just not very good at business.
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
Beer never asks me if I think another beer is prettier than it.
The record companies have done a good job of fighting piracy by releasing music no one wants to steal.