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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and ten million dollars.
Ziploc`s idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different than mine.
Things I`ve learned: There`s no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
All women are crazy. But, if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will let you live.
My girlfriend just accused me of being unfaithful. I told her that is ridiculous and that she is starting to sound like my wife.
I got kicked out of the zoo for feeding the ducks ... to the alligators.
I do what I want, when I want, where I want. If my wife says it`s okay.
A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.
Of all the lies I`ve told in my life, "Just kidding" is my favorite.
May your Labor Day contain no Labor!
Can you imagine the reaction 20 years ago if you showed people a photo album filled with pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
A real ice cream truck would have melted by now.
People in glass houses can throw whatever they want. They live in a glass house, I`m not expecting them to be practical
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
If you really can make $10,000 a month working from home why would anyone take the harder job of nailing those signs to trees?