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Let`s talk about how fabulous u think I am.
How do I tell my boss I don`t want to do work anymore but still want money.
My superpower is making people laugh ... Which would be great if I was trying to be funny
Whoever is controlling me sucks at this game.
Being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you
My first crush was in kindergarten. I instantly knew I was doomed when she colored Neatly and Perfectly inside every line with a smug, superior smile
There is a piece of aluminum foil blowing across the road and all I can think is that one of you is without your protective headgear today.
For lent, I`m giving up sexual innuendos but it`s hard... so hard!
If tit for tat doesn`t mean flashing guys with tattoos, than I`ve been doing it wrong this whole time.
More celebrities should donate blood. I mean, imagine having the blood of Will Smith running through your veins.
life is short play naked
Very little scares me. So does very big.
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble, people, respect it!
The phrase “Ignore it and it will go away.” does NOT apply to being chased by a dozen cop cars.....trust me on this one.
I`m starting to wish I were a werewolf so I`d have a better reason for waking up nude in public with no memory of how I got there.