Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You guys ever trip out on the fact that Indian people eat Indian food for breakfast?
There’s too much blood in my caffeine system
We could learn a lot from our dogs.... If you can`t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away
Paint thinner? I call bullsh!t. I been painting myself with it all week and I`m still fat.
My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn`t even come close to my 10 year old`s reaction when I told him that there`s no school today.
If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is.
Everyone has a purpose in life ... Perhaps mine is finding things to bitch about.
My favorite beer is an open one.
I`ve been working with this alcohol free program for like six months and it`s really taken a toll on me ... I mean, I`m broke and as far as I`m concerned, they can buy their own alcohol.
I`m old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.
When I was young I was scared of the dark. Now when I see my electricity bill I am scared of the lights.
When girls flash its called, "girls gone wild" when men flash its call ... "America`s most wanted"
Most of the lies I tell aren`t even true.
is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep
Why do people at home on TV have their pants on?