Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who’s ever used a cell phone will die
Laugh now, but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world
No matter how old you are ... swingsets are cool.
If you take bites out of string cheese rather than rip strings off , you don`t f*cking deserve string cheese.
*breaking news music plays* Last thought of the night: Why is now everyone talkin` bout "twerkin`"? Man, that shyt been `round since the days of Hammer pants and spandex shorts!!!!
When sliding down the banister of life, always make sure that the end is knob free!
If you piss off a girl, just play dead. That sh!t works with bears and they`re just as dangerous as angry women.
A fun thing to yell at a magic show is "BURN HIM, HE`S A WITCH"
Funny how the closer I get to the bar the friendlier I become.
The guy that discovered milk.. What did you tell your friends were you doing to that cow? O_o
Remember before we met? I miss those days.
There should be an "oh my god, shut up already" button.
Doormats are a gateway rug.
The Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick. It`s about two women trying to kill each other over shoes.
Dear human, you get mad when i wake you up and also get mad when i dont. Sincerely confused, Alarm Clock.