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All bad decisions are ultimately made using the same piece of resounding logic: “Screw it.”
I never talk to myself......But I do have some candid conversations with the other personalities!
Nothing says `I dont take you seriously` like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
The woman that just drove past me was either doing a huge yawn or her brakes have failed....
Whatever it is ... I didn´t do it!
People who live in bouncy castles shouldn’t throw darts.
Not now, I`m busy bringing shame to my family on the internet.
It`s normally a combination of things that cause bad decisions. The tequila, lime, salt combination is the most common.
A man who scratches his butt should not bite fingernails!
If a zombie apocalypse were to happen in Vegas... would it stay in Vegas?
I`ve dieted and worked out enough to realize that the only way I`m getting smokin` hot is by getting cremated.
I just wanna find a girl who loves me for my money. That way I wouldn`t feel bad for loving her for her body.
Tell a therapist, Not Facebook.
You can tell Charles Manson really loves his fiancee by the way he hasn`t murdered her
When someone hands you a flyer, it’s like they’re saying here you throw this away.