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They sell Harvard shirts at Target so that’s a good way to save $ 399,984.05.
I’ve been in this McDonald’s restroom for over an hour, waiting for an employee to wash my hands.
I make way more decisions than I should based on the battery life of my phone.
A good man can make you feel sexy, strong, and able to take on the world ...Oh sorry ...That`s wine ...Wine does that.
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
"Trust your gut" is terrible advice. How can I put trust in something that tells me to eat an entire pizza when I get drunk?
Did anyone else ever wonder why the Easter Bunny gave away chocolate eggs? Last I checked, bunnies don’t lay eggs. What kind of sick new species is this?
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the internet.
Why is it that most nudists are people you don`t want to see naked?
I remember when the internet was two tin cans and a string.
Why is the guy who serves you at the restaurant called a waiter, when it is you that is waiting?
I found the "one" today! Surprisingly, It`s been on my keyboard all the time.
Flight 370, proven harder to find then the G spot :-/
Sometimes it takes me a full 8 hours to get nothing done.
If your father is poor, Its your fate, but if your father-in-law is poor, then its your fault!