Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If every U.S. sports team converted to metric, Americans would understand the metric system by the next game.
I am out of wine, so I ate a bag of grapes and threw myself down the stairs.
I`m really good at acting like I`m sorry the elevator door is closing and you missed it.
I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer.
Friends are like snowflakes.... if you pee on them they disappear.
The only Plato I care about is a big Plato spaghetti
This pizza looks like a pie chart of 100% good news.
If you think about it,, Batman was pretty lazy about naming all his stuff.
Hearing jokes is always 100 times funnier when you have water in your mouth.
Mary had a little lamb,,the midwife fainted
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment...
Spice up your Facebook experience by making your status updates your google searches.
I`ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.
pens and pencils are drumsticks and desks and textbooks are drum kits. its a fact.
Her: Do you want to run away with me? ME: We won`t actually be running, right?