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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m at my most relaxed around dogs and prescription drugs.
There’s a very short list of things you can have in your hand while running without looking crazy.
Thank you for informing me that you have a stick figure family of 6 and a dog. Your minivan had me under the impression that you were wild and single.
I hate it when I`m singing a song and the artist keeps messing up the words.
Unless you fell off the stairmaster and a barbell fell on your face... no one wants to hear about your workout.
Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on facebook. That was a close one.
Remember when waking up early on Saturday mornings involved cartoons and not untagging photos on Facebook?
Why don`t you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma
Karma means I can rest easy at night knowing all the people I treated badly had it coming.
Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang - So I shot him..
Weekends will from now on begin on Wednesday because that is when it should truly begin!
Just tried to put my seatbelt on ... at my desk ... I`m pretty.
DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.
Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever.