Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn’t have any pictures of me either.
I’m sick of closing out every job interview with “I was young. I needed the money.”
I`d rather have my arms fall off than make two trips carrying in groceries.
I think Facebook is the Malaysian plane of the internet. No one on here has been seen by their family in weeks.
Conspiracy theorists are all so dumb that I suspect they`ve been planted by a secret organization to distract us from what`s really going on
I bet there`s a rapper trying to figure out a way to replace his teeth with LED lights
When I order pizza online, in the "Special Instructions for the Driver" box, I put "Tell me I`m a pretty princess".
You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she cuts your brake lines.
I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
Screw doing situps...teddy bears don`t and everyone loves them.
Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
If you are not sweating while doing it...then you are doing it wrong.
If you want to take a bank teller out on a date, just ask her. Don`t slip her a note at the window. Trust me on this.
"Someday, your phone will cost more than your computer" - said no one ever.
Me: I only smoke weed because of Cancer. Mom: You don`t have Cancer! Me: So it`s working...