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Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
Don`t tell me I have to say "Happy Holidays" so nobody gets offended. I will "Merry Christmas" the sh!t out of you.
I’ve watched “Aladdin” like 25 times with my kids, so I know quite a bit about politics in the Middle East.
The more photos you have to untag, the better the weekend was.
It’s my favorite time of the day: How long can I stare directly at my monitor and do absolutely nothing o’clock.
U still drunk from last night or did u get a new buzz going this morning.
I know the voices ain`t really, but man, do they ever come up with some great ideas.
People that are organized are just too lazy to look for things.
How many instruments do you have to be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?
Sometimes, I question my sanity ... Sometimes, it replies
Before having a kid the most important thing to ask yourself is “Am I ready to watch the exact same cartoon on repeat for the next 4 years?”
I thought `Pokemon` was a Jamaican Porn... My bad...
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he’s too old for it.
If you Google the word `overreacting` there`s a picture of me using a fire extinguisher on a spider.
Instead of LOL, try SALTS ( smiled a little, then stopped)