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Taco Bell is donating burritos to feed firefighters in Colorado. Talk about putting gas on the fire,
my ex girlfriends started they`re own website they call it two faced book...
That awkward moment when you get in the van... And there`s no candy.
If I didn`t procrastinate, I probably wouldn`t do anything at all.
doesn`t mind that people start spreading rumors about me.. it’s when they spread the truth that I’m screwed ;)
What happened to all the Sour Patch parents?
Coworker: What did you do this weekend? Me: Dug holes in the woods. And that is how you get people to shut up.
I believe in helping the homeless. That`s why every year I buy a new refrigerator and throw away the box.
Best grilled cheese ever!! All I did was add a hamburger patty.
I am a Mother hear me roar.....especially when my kids decide to make a kite out of my granny panties and fly it down the street.
I have never met a woman without wondering what her box of cookie recipes looks like.
I saw Tom Hanks and asked for his autograph. He abbreviated it, and it just said "Thanks"
I don’t care what women say, size matters in bed. The bigger the bed the more room you have to move around.
Robots can do anything we set their mind to
Every time I go to the bank I ask if they are giving out any free samples.