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Let`s sleep in until it`s time to go to bed again
Sleep is like sex, you never get enough of it and sometimes it feels like it never happened at all.
I`m not really much of a plumber, but I have laid some pipe before.
My pessimism has never failed me, but I`m sure someday it will.
Orange Hi-C counts as a serving of fruit, right?
I`m glad I`m me, I don`t think anybody else could take it.
$5.99 Trojan condoms or $19.99 Huggies diapers. Choose wisely...
How do they fit all that money inside such a tiny credit card??
Alex, I`ll take WTF for a $1000
Look for my new diet book: "How To Work Out And Watch What You Eat And Still Gain Plenty Of Weight"
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
According to my nipples, there is a 99% chance it`s cold as hell right now!
I feel sorry for people who don`t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
You know that awkward moment when you thought someone`s talking to you so you reply to them , then they look at you weird .
I`ve decided to take some time off Facebook so I can focus on work and, ok, I`m back