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My girlfriend called me up and said "Come on over to my place. No one`s home!" I went over. No one was home.
Driving would be much more entertaining if there were no yellow lights.
my ex-girlfriend is a famous porn star. But would she be pissed if she found out.
If you`re sick and tired of every Asshole on Facebook asking you to copy and paste stuff as your status, please copy and paste this as your status.
There`s really no telling how successful I could have been if the internet hadn`t been invented...
I`ve been hitting "remind me later" for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
My greatest fear is that PMS is fake and this is my real personality.
My job description does not include farting on everyone else`s office chairs but I still do it because INITIATIVE.
This is my first lame status of the year. Enjoy!
There are only two types of honest people in this world.....small children and drunk people.
If you are going to write in the dust on my car, please dont date it
Women say they want a guy who can make them laugh. I`d probably have done better if they`d specified that they didn`t mean by tickling.
I`m more indecisive than a John in a brothel with gold credit card.
thjeo oskl asopa joa sajksla wioj apska shul bhcgy ....Yes I just wasted your time ;)
People go on and on about the length of Subway`s sandwiches but how come nobody talks about their girth?