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My ex is living proof as to how stupid I can be.
Don`t hate me because I think I`m beautiful.
Our #1 problem in this country is that nobody wants to take responsibility for anything ...but please don`t quote me!
This Crazy Weather Makes Me Want To Masturbate Furiously!!!
I`m going to start carrying fireworks in my car because sometimes my horn just isn`t enough.
they say "money cant buy happiness" but money pays for my internet connection and my vodka so im thinking maybe "they" are wrong
I wonder what my dog has named me?
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.
Hey Guys! I havent seen you since last year!(;
I`m not fat. My stomach is in 3D
Example of the difference between `You`re`and `Your`: 1. "You`re nuts" = "You are nuts" 2. "Your nuts" = "What about my nuts?"
It`s funny how many people I have in my phones contact list who all have the same name Do Not Answer.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was big white bear with no sexual preference.
If 3 people have sex, it`s called a 3-some. If 2 people have sex, it`s called a 2-some. I guess we now know why they call you HAND-some.
1. Pour milk on floor. 2. Ask which kid did it. 3. Send them to their rooms when they don`t admit it. 4. Enjoy peaceful evening.