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!that embarrasing moment when you fake a call then a real one comes...!lol.
A broken clock is right twice a day. I guess what I am saying is, that a broken clock is right more than you.
Some of you take selfies from so close up, I`m beginning to wonder if you`re a T-Rex.
Felt like being Bad today, like an Outlaw Bad, felt like doing something illegal, so I ran through the house ripping off all the Mattress Tags..... Come and get me Coppers, but you won`t take me alive.......................
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn`t that make life fair?
I`m about 0 for 300 in looking for safes behind wall paintings
Unless you fell off the stairmaster and a barbell fell on your face... no one wants to hear about your workout.
Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"
At what age is it appropriate to tell my friends that they`re imaginary?
I took a nude photo of myself ... With the light off ... You`re welcome.
Picking up someone at a bar when you`re drunk, is like going to the grocery store hungry... You end up taking home crap you didn`t want
"Crazy" is just another name for "Someone who knows how to have fun"
So apparently the security guard at Kroger didn`t believe that life gave me that lemon.
I`m posing nude for an art class. No one asked me to. I think they`re making ceramic bowls.
Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject