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If there`s one thing that I`ve learned it`s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
If a bra is called an `over the shoulder bolder holder`, then what would you call men underwear? Under the butt nut hut
THESE NACHOS ARE THE BOMB! …..and that’s how I got my nachos taken away at the airport.
New word of the day: Stupidiot!!
I always tell my kids that it`s ok to make mistakes as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.
screw flowers, its all about chia pets ;)
Just a friendly reminder, there are a minimum of three spiders in your room at all times. Goodnight...
If looks could kill, mirrors would be the leading cause of death among ugly people
No matter what life brings you, always take a lesson from your dog.. Kick some grass over that s**t and move on.
If I could be any animal I`d pick a turtle, strictly for the chance, however slight, I could be turned into a ninja.
Can I tell you how terribly grateful I am that no one had cell phones, iPads or digital cameras when I had to squaredance in P.E.
It`s hard to write a good drinking song. I can never make it past the first few bars.
Hey ladies, tired of your man complaining about how long it takes you to get ready? Start blow drying your hair in the nude. I promise no more complaints.
Who ever snuck the s in "fast food" was a clever little bastard!
First you told me to be myself now you`re telling to me not be an idiot. Make up your mind woman!