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You`re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU`RE RICH
Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
I don`t think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this unmedicated.
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren`t there hot chocolate trucks in the winter?
Saw a Mime doing his gig. I reached into my purse and pretended to throw money in his hat.
Come on snooze button, is 9 minutes all you have to offer...I need something in the 2-3 hour range.
Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.
I`m not a bitch, I just have a low bullsh!t tolerance.
Where did all the people walking around with boomboxes in the 80s go? I`m concerned
I just heard someone say "I can`t wait for 13/13/13" .....let`s take a moment and pray for this dumbass
Just stopped by my old high school and updated my phone number on all the bathroom stalls.
What I lack in vocabulary, I make up for in…you know...stuff...and...things...
If you boil a clown, do you get laughing stock?
iTunes got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.
Suddenly I can`t remember if it`s ok to use tampons as Nerf darts or if it`s the other way around.