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Business plan : 1. hold sign that says "free hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
You know what the cheapest meat is? Deer balls ... They`re under a buck
So, when people say "LOLZ", does that mean they laughed themselves to sleep?
I`m always on the verge of running three miles, or drinking a bottle of Vodka
Another tragedy today in the music industry.....Justin Beiber was just found alive in his apartment. :(
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain
If the people in horror movies would just listen to me, they would still be alive!
I just googled "Is there really cowbell in the actual song Don`t Fear the Reaper?" and my first response was, "Go outside and do something."
The downside of being a bomb disposal technician. It takes 6 hours to open Christmas gifts.
Unless my horoscope says, "You will dread going to work and will most likely masturbate," then it is a crock of sh*t.
They`ll find Bigfoot before they find a Smoothie store that`s been open for more than 2 years.
Apparently, "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed.
Why is it always the same person getting in your way from start to checkout at the grocery store?
I need a new bad decision.
Does this floor Iām laying on make me look unmotivated?