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Bologna sandwiches are parents way of saying... it`s my legal obligation to feed you something.
Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when your finished.
I was halfway to the state line before I realized the sirens were part of the song that was playing
I`m starting to think the Hangover Fairy and the Angel of Death are the same person.
is deep in thought . . . if only i could remember what i was thinking about
Lol at birds that walk places.
Why can`t the ice cream man just get a freakin liquor license already
Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it`s a small soft drink.
I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
No, I would not like to join your exclusive membership rewards club. I’m buying a sandwich.
Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window... If it gets any worse, I`ll have to let her in.
I always hear people say that a dog is man`s best friend, but I don`t even have enemies who`ll look me dead in my face while taking a sh!t on my carpet.
Of course China is dominating the olympics, they probably made all of the equipment.
In the word "scent" is it the s that is silent or the c?
My new diet plan consists of multiple naps. Because you can`t stuff your face when you`re sleeping.