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I look forward to the day that cell phone technology finally catches up with technology in digital watches and they release a model that is water resistant up to 100 meters.
Me putting up with you is your Christmas present.
People who think I’m not a religious person should see me when the airplane starts to shake.
I’m just like everyone else: I put my straight jacket on one buckle at a time.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it takes up a lot more hard drive space.
Tip of the day: When there’s a will…find a way to be in it!
I still remember the first time I lied about being able to time travel... It was 3 weeks from tomorrow.
Relationship status: Runs alone at night in hopes of being abducted.
I think today I`ll stalk my stalker, just to shake things up a little.
More people should be at a loss for words.
FACT: The higher pitched my "hey!" the greater the chance I don`t remember who you are.
Please ignore this status, I am standing alone and I don`t want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am texting
Sarcasm: because beating the sh!t out of people is illegal.
I didn`t see anyone important today, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes tomorrow.
Apparently people don`t like it when you lick your thumb and wipe all that black dirt off their forehead.