Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I put the o in illiterate!
I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download and install Firefox up to three times faster.
"I don`t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others` lives sounds fun!" - How I got out of jury duty
I just wanted you all to know that I`m leaving Facebook. The ride has been a blast and I`ve made a ton of friends. Your humor and wit is amazing. I`ll miss all of u, but I`ve decided I need to spend more time with my family...so see you after breakfast!!
Killing spiders is easy and fulfilling if you imagine them whispering "You look fat in those pants".
As I slid my finger slowly down her G string, I thought to myself "this is a nice guitar"
You can`t be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn`t work that way...your already hard to want
Getting back with your ex is pretty much the same as taking a shower, getting out, and putting back on the same old dirty underwear.
Either my cat is speaking English or that was not a vitamin I took....
You ever read a status, and you`re like, `what a f*ck up` and then you realize you`re on your own page?
I hate when Iām walking into the gym and the wind blows me into the liquor store.
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world...
Life`s short ... Drink fast
The cashier at this self checkout is horrible.
My motto for the night ... drink till I no longer think :)