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Welcome to Alzheimer`s Club. I see a lot of new faces today.
I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
One day, I will solve my problems with maturity. Today, however, it will be with alcohol.
Summer is almost over...All you half-naked people are gonna need to find a personality.
If you can’t face it, moon it.
Facebook is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.
I just responded to a text message with: I can`t hear you, you`re breaking up.
Redneck Term Of Thee Day-Wisdom: "Mah bruther had him some kidney stones, but he wisdom out!"
Is it considered rude to ask your boss if it hurt when the house fell on her in The Wizard of Oz?
Wisdom for the day is , hot cheetos are not breakfast.
I have no super powers. I`m guessing I`m the villain.
According to WebMD, people are Sick & Tired of me
If you`re going to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 10am, don`t be open.
The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
I only say "bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume it didn`t take and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.