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I`ll drink enough for both of us, because I`m just a caring person.
Don`t you just hate it when people say stuff in thier status that you really didn`t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop. Talk to ya later.
After years of commercials, I still have no idea what a Go Daddy is
Got a little too much sun today. I knew I should have closed the blinds.
Twerking is just shaking your a$$? Why did we need a new word? A$$-shaking has served us well for centuries.
Ever get out of the shower and not remember getting a towel ready but its there anyway? You`re welcome.
Sorry I didn`t answer when you called, I had 6 Peeps in my mouth
What if there actually is one legit Nigerian millionaire prince who genuinely needs to use your bank account?
FACT: The higher pitched my "hey!" the greater the chance I don`t remember who you are.
A panda never pays his bills, because he eats shoots and leaves!!!
Hitting the lotto is a sure way to stop hating on Mondays...
And today I learned to never ask a woman how she dye`s her roots black.
Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times because they had nobody to talk about.
roses are red violets are blue da shit in my back yard looks jus like you
If something`s worth doing, it`s worth doing rihgt.