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It`s been a boring day today. Not exactly Nascar boring, but awfully close.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time"............................... An often used phrase in a lot of my memories.
What I do when I black out is none of my business.
Cashiers are always checking me out.
I had to leave the bowling alley right in the middle of the game. I didn`t have time to spare.
Before I got married I didn`t even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
I don`t mind my long commute, I just hate that it always brings me to work.
I`m kinda like an onion, not in some deep I have layers way, but if you see me naked, you`ll cry.
A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn`t eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he couldn`t whine on FB.
Even though I`m a guy I still get nervous when I pee on a pregnancy test.
I may or may not have just "Whipped my Hair Back and Forth".......
Mark my words: In a year, the leading cause of death will be “Beaten to death with a selfie stick”
I`m switching to Metric. I would weigh a lot less on the Metric scale.
"you failed just as much as your dads condom."