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Trust me, you want me medicated!!
There’s a wild side to EVERY innocent face.
My train of thought likes to circle around the station a few times, take some wrong turns, and end up totally lost.
I have a brilliant idea once every seven beers.
If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I’d be like “Sit your translucent ass down, I have a lot of questions!”
I either get what I want or I change my mind!
Some people are just bad news!!! Those are my favorite!
One out of every 4 Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they´re okay, then it´s you.
When you realize that your car matches the one in the Amber Alert.
With so many things coming back in style, I can`t wait until morals and intelligence become a trend again.
Its too damn early. Even the voices in my head are still snoring.
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting you do.
The mailman just delivered an 8-track of Boz Skaggs Greatest Hits. I guess this fulfills my Columbia House obligation.
I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
My favorite mythical creature is the happy b*tch in tampon commercials.