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I thought we had something. You met my family, made us dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”
“Let me rephrase this question so I can get pissed off at you all over again.” - WOMEN
When I see you in hell I`ll still ignore you
Don`t ask me how my night was coz I don`t know. I was asleep.
Similarities between BRA and BAR 1. Both have similar letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. When both opened men go crazy "prove me wrong"
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean & people think I’m joking.
You can learn a lot about a woman by watching her load a gun.
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"
If I could have dinner with anyone, alive or dead, there is no question. I would want them to be alive.
If opposites truly attract, the correct life strategy is to be a complete loser.
Stalin should have known communism doesn`t work. There were red flags everywhere.
Most people don`t realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.
Ain`t no sunshine when she`s gone..... or sandwiches.... Ain`t no sandwiches either.
In order to avoid hating myself in the morning, I sleep till noon.