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Holiday Shopping Tip #112:Next time you see someone with their arms full of bags looking around a parking lot while pointing and clicking their horn button, help them out and start pushing your horn button too!
There is always something to be thankful for. If you can’t pay your bills, you can be thankful you are not one of your creditors.
There is really no way of knowing how many chameleons are in the room right now.
Boy it`s nice out today... or at least that`s what it says on my computer.
I don`t "get lost". I find creative ways to get places I didnt know I wanted to go.
When life is stressful, do something to lift your spirits. Go for a drive. Go two or three thousand miles away. Maybe change your name.
Weird is just a side effect of being awesome.
Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider’s home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad was where a mouse lived. And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy…you just hoped nobody found out.
I`m eating a vegan lunch today. Sure, it`s six sleeves of Smarties and a Diet Coke, but I`m still better than you.
Any fool can use a computer ... Many do
ready for bed - gunna give my sheets some arse and my pillows head;]
Anybody else have those FB friends that set up a FB account 4 years ago and posted once or twice and hasn`t been back on since? And you wonder how they can exist without a Life?
I’m glad you spent $80 on makeup to look like a $5 whore. Well done
The only way I`ll ever run a marathon is if I set up the booths and hand out tags.
Sometimes when my phones at 5% battery life I call back all the people I didn`t want to talk too.