Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
When pornstars get up to speak in front of a large group, do they picture people with their clothes on?
Flies only live for 24 hours.. Except for the ones that get in your house. Those bastads live forever.
I`ve found that the best web designers in the world are spiders.
Tis the season to throw your diet out the window.
If weed is ever legalized, I can`t wait to see the commercials...
Feeding my kid cold pizza. They will be off to college soon and preparation is the key to success.
Going to tattoo shop to get both legs fully covered. Before he touches me with that needle, I run off yelling `thanks for the free shave loser!`
The ultimate home security system is having crappy stuff.
I`m "got my sexual education from a 2 Live Crew cassette tape" years old.
When I see something funny on the internet, I don’t usually laugh. I just blow more air out of my nose than usual.
I lost 3 pounds over the weekend, but not to worry I found them lastnight at pizza hut
Why can`t insomnia start in the morning.
It`s called NASCAR because that`s the way a hillbilly pronounces "nice car"
I’m trying to read a book about how to relax, but I keep falling asleep