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It`s so cute how all the free sandwiches in the fridge at work have little names.
Sticks and stones may break your bones. Also good: lead pipes.
I`ve found if you tuck one part of a pants leg into your sock, people expect less of you.
Walmart calls them self checkouts, I call them I might not pay for some of this.
Sometimes I get so mad at myself for being too lazy that I don`t even do anything about it.
I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
I`ll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn`t go all the way.
Men ask us if we`re naked when we tell them we`re taking a bath. THAT`S why they pay more for their car insurance.
i make the other half of the Oreo watch.
I don`t know why people freak out and run when they see a spider. They are just gonna climb in your mouth when you are sleeping anyway.
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
Spent 40 minutes on the treadmill this morning. Next time I might turn it on.
Apparently, the average person looks at their phone 150 times a day. Not me. I look at it just once. For about 12 hours.
It`s always the rednecks that know all the inner most conspiracies of the government.
This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.