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Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can´t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
it`s not that I`m bad at remembering names, I`m just awesome at forgetting them.
I just took a 5 hour energy and a sleeping pill...LET THE BATTLE BEGIN.
When i am bored, i like parking along side the xpressway stick a hair dryer out the window, and watch everyone slam on their brakes.
If you really want to get laid tonight, put on your oldest or most ridiculous underwear. It works every single time.
Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets.
* feels winds of change * realizes it`s just a hole in my shorts
I have no problem admitting that you made a mistake.
Q: What do you call apple-flavoured marijuana? A: iPot
Love means never having to say you’re sorry until you`ve thought up a good excuse.
If it was not for electricity, we would all be watching T.V. by candle light.
I`m really sick of responsibility ... and underwear
I wish there was a way to find out how many boners you’ve caused in a lifetime, I wanna check my stats.
At this point I`m just waiting for summer to be cancelled completely.
Any of you had a friend that borrowed your sh!t and kept it for so long you had to borrow it back..