Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Jesus is coming.... look busy
Lil Wayne is 10% African-American and 90% tattoo.
My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking. One cleaning.
Reality is for those who can`t handle alcohol
Back in my day, we didn’t have computers or the internet. Everyone had to walk uphill for days to tell me I’m an a$$hole.
apparently telling my girlfriend her acuracy is as high as a magic 8 ball wasn`t a good idea.
I couldn`t help but notice that I would like to have sex with you more frequently!
Please come see my theatrical dramatization of the history of puns ... It`s a play on words.
I don’t know why Tampax and Hershey have not joined forces yet. Taping a pack of Reese’s to a box of tampons could literally save lives.
When i see a person hailing a cab, i run quickly by them and slap them a high five just to boost their enthusiasm!
I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop.
Don`t you just love it when you see someone who is photogenic, looks perfect in every picture but then when you see them in person you`re like EURGH God Damn! What happened to you in the last 24h!
If you mix vodka, orange juice and milk of magnesia... Do you get a Phillips screwdriver?
Pizza doesn’t ask questions. Pizza understands.
Sometimes my mind wanders, other times it leaves completly. ;)