Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Woke up with morning wood but she wouldn`t!
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics...So glad I found you all.
Teens today have it so easy. We didn`t have self-checkout lanes when we bought condoms.
Must you really ask why I have my selfie on top of my Christmas tree?
CAMPING TIP: If you get lost in the woods, a compass can help you get lost more North.
Football Logic: Your team won: Celebrate with beers! Your team lost: Better drown my sorrows in some beer.
If you’re a size 0 we shouldn’t be able to see you.
This Pokemon Go crap is getting ridiculous. I just saw a fight breakout between the pokebloods and the pokecrips.
I hope you all have a prosperous New Year ... I may have to borrow money.
BESTFRIEND: the one you can get mad at only for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.
Hey, guy from the gym with lifting gloves still on, you can take them off now, you`re in Starbucks.
Going to Walmart with my mom and kids is a great way to test if the Xanax is working!
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I was flattered.
You`re more inbred than sandwhich filler.
"I’m definitely going to do that tomorrow.” — Me being delusional