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I always hold the door for ladies, but they never seem to get in the car when I do that.
Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
Would you be a deer and run out in front of my car for me?
Scientists say the Universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons and Electrons... They forgot to add Morons.
I quit my job and handed in my badge and gun to my boss, he said, why do you have a gun? You work at McDonald’s.
I went to open a can of Whoop-Ass but it had a child-proof lid.
Haiku`s confuse me / Too often they make no sense / Hand me the pliers
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas...
You haven`t truly made it on YouTube until someone recognizes you in the unemployment line and asks for your autograph.
I`ve found that the things I`m most interested in aren`t really in my best interest.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, scratch between my butt cheeks....I`m in public.
The funny moment when a fat kid says "that`s how I roll".
I don`t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.
new years resolution #1: stop losing the powerball
When ever I think about the past...It brings back so many memories