Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The pollen levels are so high this year that it has the crackheads trying to convert their meth back into Sudafed...
Apparently, the answer `I know.` is not a good answer when your friend tells you how awesome his girlfriend is in bed.
thinks whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never been to a nude beach!!
Dear Equifax hackers, Please delete my student loan balance, my medical bills and change my credit score to 850. Thanks.
I chose the wrong fork in the road, took the road less travelled and got off the beaten path and now I don`t know where the hell I am.
I wonder how long I`d be on hold if my call wasn`t important to them.
I`m so sick and tired of my light weight friends who can`t handle their alcohol...Last night , they dropped me 3 times when carrying me out of the bar!
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
Shall I compare thee to a Summer`s Eve? For thou art a douche.
Flight 370, proven harder to find then the G spot :-/
The institutions won`t take me so I am all yours.
Now tell me how old your baby is in hours.
This isn`t a bakery. We don`t sugarcoat sh!t
If we meet offline and you look nothing like your photos, you`re buying me drinks until you do.
I like to listen to mexican radio but I dont know what they are singing or saying so I just pretend they are singing about how awesome I am.