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I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
Taking selfies is a lot of work when you’re not attractive.
That awkward moment when your screen freezes on a really embarrassing website
Some girls are so desperate. Who calls 3 times, leaves a voicemail, and sends a text?? Take a hint, mom.
Of all the grotesque sounds coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most disturbing!!
Remember ladies, if on your 10th selfie you don’t have the perfect one to post you’re really just ugly.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Just saw a coyote next to the highway. I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
My Ex texted me."please delete my number."I replied,"Who`s this??"
You can make up any word you want in conversation and if you use it in a dilsationary way, people rarely question the meaning.
Last time I saw jugs that big, 2 hillbillies were blowing on them.
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I`d look out the window for that.
Just got rid of 150lbs of ugly fat ... Got divorced.
I will literally spend $20 on food but won’t buy a $20 shirt.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!