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Screw it, Iβm starting Friday now.
Wishing you a fabulous 2014 that is full of great achievements and experiences. A meaningful chapter waiting to be written HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Showed my daughter an MRE. The package said "Peelable Seal". She said I`m not eating no seal.
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
Getting up in the morning is like writing an essay. You want to do it, it takes a lot of effort, and you usually quit halfway through.
We`re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap...
Don`t worry, some people are their own punishment in life.
that strange moment when you get in the van and theres no candy...-Drew Balthaser
Apparently some strangers donβt need a hug.
It`s such a cold winter this year that the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual. So far 3 of my neighbors have disappeared...
"I" before "E" except after "Old MacDonald had a farm"
My doctor recommended I increase the amount of Greens in my diet...so I started drinking more Rolling Rock.
Some people are good listeners. Mostly, though, they`re just nodding and thinking about bacon.
I eat my gummy bears 2 at a time ..no one should die alone
I used to think I was good at multi-tasking. Turns out itβs just my multiple personalities doing one task at a time.