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So a year ago today I asked a really beautiful friend out on a date and today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times.
Lazy fact #128540162, You were too lazy to read that number.
Why am I single? Answer me. . . ANSWER ME YOU STUPID CATS!!!
Why put off `til tomorrow what you can premeditate today.
?"I hate when people come to MY house, knock on MY door, and then give me the "why aren`t you wearing pants" look."
With all the potato chip flavors available now, I see no point in buying actual food...
is a mystery you´ll never solve
When people ask how my childhood was, I say "Pretty good, so far."
If anyone is looking for an unlicensed helicopter pilot give me a call. . .
If any of you have gotten any weird texts from me recently, its because my phone is working fine and I`m just trying to make you feel uncomfortable.
Well, just 8 more hours of Facebook and I can go back to bed. *phew*
I’m not positive that having the TV volume on an odd number will destroy the world, but lets not risk it.
Sharks aren’t so bad. If some stranger entered my house wearing only a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.
I may be asking too much of this coffee.
I wonder what the inventor of the drawing board said when his first design didn’t work out.