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I don`t like surprises so, I never open my Electric Bill or my Bank Statement.
So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
Wife is out of town until tomorrow night. Anyone wanna come sit on the other end of the sofa and ignore me?
According to Facebook, some people I don`t remember are grilling this weekend.
I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive.
If I suddenly had the ability to teleport, I’d spend an entire day popping up naked in front of people and asking for John Connor.
The only cat like reflex I possess is turning and staring at the wall when you talk to me.
1, 2 Freddie´s coming for u 3, 4 better lock the door 5, 6 grab your crucifix 7, 8 gotta say up late 9, 10 never sleep again
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing aggravates them so much. But if you really want to piss them off tell them you will pray for their souls.
I`m flattered that you took time out from your lack of a life to judge mine.
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Now that I think about it... Facebook became popular ever since I made an account.
The self-driving car should have an "I`m Feeling Lucky" button that drives you to a random location.
I was trying to think of something really deep to post on Facebook this morning. The Mariana Trench comes to mind.
Really, 6 more inches of snow today. My front yard is getting more action than me.