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How many "zero likes" do you have to get on Facebook before you realize nobody gives a crap about you
I have thought a lot about it and I am thrilled to announce that I have decided to never die.
A man who took an Airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.
My girlfriend would be so mad if he found out that I`m telling people she`s my girlfriend.
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I`m made of sarcasm, wine and everything fine.
My wife sure is picky for someone who married me.
Do you ever feel like you`re in Season 5 of your life, and the writers are just doing outrageous stuff to keep it interesting?
I`m not fat. My stomach is in 3D
Why did they send me to this white room? Do they think I`m crazy? Do they think I`m ...HOLY CRAP THE WALLS ARE FLUFFY!!!
I just don`t understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance.
I bet if we all threw our problems into a big pile, we’d see everyone else’s and scramble to get ours back.
Picking your nose doesn`t make you a bad person. .... but what you do with the booger will define you.
The Bishop came to our church today, but I think he was an imposter. He never once moved diagonally.
I don`t know karate, but I do know crazy, and I`m not afraid to use it.
I automatically assume you`re fat if your Facebook picture is a car