Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wine: How classy people get trashed.
I might be a day late and a dollar short, but it is still my personal best.
I tried to make both ends meet, but I`m a poor judge of distance.
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
Got interrupted downloading the new version of iTunes by a pop up that asked if I wanted to download the even newer version of iTunes.
No pornhub I do not want to share this video with my friends & family on Facebook
They don`t seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts.
I’m always impressed when I can stump auto-correct...
I think eating is my kind of sport.
Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet. If you don`t like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
So last night I put a whopee cushion on moms chair, waited and finally heard it go off.. I walk in with a massive smile on my face to find out that she hadn`t even sat on it yet.
Sometimes after many years of marriage, you just look at your wife and wonder how she stayed with you this long without you killing her.
If you`re going to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 10am, don`t be open.
I´m playing hide and seek with the kids right now and they´ll never find me, because they aren´t old enough to drive or get into this bar.
Friends that are with you during your darkest times probably didn’t pay their electric bill either.