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They sell Harvard shirts at Target so that’s a good way to save $ 399,984.05.
feels like I`m forgetting to flip someone off today.
Tomorrow, history will be made. Months and months of advertisements and anticipation has led up to this historic day. America will see firsthand what is surely to be a historic event, and I am proud to say I will do my part and pick up my copy of Halo 4.
Homeless people should make more creative signs like "I bet you can`t hit me with a quarter...b!tch!"
stupidity is a privelege entitled to everyone but you my dear are abusing this right
I had to explain the Goonies today... so I`m feeling super old and bitter.
Gym update: not there
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed.
Fun game for parents: Scream in horror the first time your child loses a tooth.
I just ate Pasta and Anti-Pasta, but they annihilated each other, now I am hungry again.......
Can I have your number or do you just want the 8 dollars for the drink?
I was stood in front of the mirror last night, admiring my six pack. Then it occurred to me, why the f*ck am I not drinking it?
Dear family, thank you for all those wonderful childhood memories ... Here`s my therapy bill.
You posted a drunk selfie last night at 2:04 AM and then deleted it five minutes later. But I took a screenshot. Let`s negotiate.