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Let me be clear, I don`t want to die alone. However I want to be left completely alone until that moment
One should love animals.. They are so tasty.
RAIN!!!! :) I guess my rain dances must have worked. Some people call it stumbling around... I call it rain dancing.
I just found handcuffs, a whip and a mask in my girlfriend’s bedroom. I can’t believe she’s a super hero.
I just saw a gang of really drunk mosquitoes leave my arm and high-five each other. Weird.
If you’re going to walk really slowly in front of me you should at least have the courtesy to have a slammin booty.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning.
Panick, chaos, anarchy... my work here is done.
We`re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap...
I’m starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.
Is it "poon tang", or "poontang"? I`m trying to update my Christian Mingle profile.
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
You can`t make everyone happy, so just concentrate on me.
The original creator of the phrase “common sense” surely didn’t know many people.
If I`m guilty of anything it`s loving you too much. Oh and indecent exposure...I suppose trespassing too.