Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You wouldn`t believe all the cool stuff I find when I`m under my bed playing.
Yesterday my boss asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."
To trick people into thinking I understand things at a museum I stand in front of every painting and silently count to twenty.
Sorry for accidentally karate kicking you. Sorry for high-fiving everyone who saw it.
E-Cigs. The great taste of water vapor, the cool look of blowing a flashlight.
Sure, we can be friends. I get to be Chandler.
Go to China on honeymoon. Get intimate with Husband. Tell child that they were "Made in China."
Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let`s try to leave better kids for our planet.
Since they`re loud and heavily scented already, Abercrombie & Fitch stores really are the ideal spot to go fart.
I’m not the kind of person you ever put on speaker phone.
It bothers me when I see tax money wasted on signs telling deer where to cross the road.
popsicle sticks: $1. caramel: $3. onion: $1. watching ur kid bite into a caramel onion thinking its an apple: priceless.
It takes patience to listen. It takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
Can I just drop it like it’s luke warm? It’s been a long day and I’m tired.
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?